live in alignment with your highest values

Having identified your highest values, changed their rules and started to address any underlying fears and feelings, the next and most important step is to take action, every day, to make sure that you are living in alignment with your values. Doing this will liberate the aliveness and fulfilment within you. One way of doing this is to focus on your top three or four values and to ask yourself the following questions as the beginning and in deed throughout the day.


  • How can I share honestly when speaking with people today?
  • How can I act with integrity today?
  • How can I deepen my relationship with spirit today?
  • How can I be healthy and vital in body, mind and spirit today?
  • How can I feel more connected and loving towards myself and others today?


For each of these write down the answer that comes up and take that action. Notice what impact it has on how you feel.


Exercise: Shall I, Shan’t I?


In addition to asking these questions at the start of every day, and they do need to be asked every day, their will be plenty of times when you have a decision to make about some direction in your life. A good way to work out whether this decision will positively impact your life and bring you more fulfilment is to see how it will impact on your values. If for example I am offered an opportunity that will increase the fulfilment of my values achievement and contribution, but in doing so that decision reduces higher values such as connection and intimacy, it’s likely that overall it won’t be the right decision for me. However it increases my higher ranked values it probably is.


Setting Value-Based Goals


Some people love to set goals, as it provides them with a focus and limits becoming distracted. I am all for this as long as they are realistic, flexible, authentic (they come from you and not any one else), positively motivated and rooted in values and emotional needs that way you can be pretty much assured that they will bring you fulfilment. Here is a process that I use help my workshop participants set goals for themselves


  1. Bearing in mind your highest values, decide on the specific goal or outcome that you would like.


  1. How desirable and challenging is this goal (1 = not challenging, 10 = extremely challenging)? Your goal should score at least five.


  1. Think about your goal, breathe deeply and turn your attention to your body – do you feel conflict or harmony?


Signs of conflict                                            Signs of harmony

Feeling contracted, uneasy or uncomfortable      Feeling expanded, light and at peace

Confusion                                                      Clarity and alertness

Heavy, sleepy and/or tired                               Uplifted, energised and/or content

Doubt                                                            Knowing

Boredom                                                        Enthusiasm and motivation

1. If you feel conflict, which aspect of your goal is causing the conflict? Look at each part of your goal in turn and tune into the feedback from your body. Alternatively, ask yourself ,‘Am I choosing this goal because of some underlying fear, belief or worry?’ If so, what is that fear, belief or worry? Create a goal around that. For example, the goal of becoming a millionaire in order to feel successful could become the goal of cultivating self-acceptance, out of which might emerge financial success.


2. Modify and re-write your goal until you feel signs of harmony. Write your new goal below.


3. Now close your eyes, breathe deeply and create a movie of what your life would look like and how you would feel once this goal has been accomplished. Give yourself plenty of time to do this. It’s important that you associate with the image of yourself – in other words, you should experience yourself as the person in the movie. If it helps, use the questions below to help inspire you.


  • What do you see that shows you have solved the problem or achieved the goal?
  • What are other people doing or saying that tells you that you have succeeded?
  • What does it feel like?
  • When do you realistically want to be in the position that you see in your mind’s eye?
  • How will you know that you have achieved your goal?
  • Is there a measure you can use?
  • How much control or influence do you have with regard to this goal?


4. Now I want you to turn your attention to the past. Try and identify a moment or experience from the past when you successfully completed a goal. Re-live it and allow yourself to become energised by it. Once you feel that energy running through you, let go of the old memory and animate your new movie with this energy. Infuse it with life and make it as real as possible.

5. Repeat this process three more times. You will know when it’s complete, because when you think of your goal you will see and feel it as an energised reality. It will feel real.

6. If you get disorientated, confused or become unsure of what you are doing, just open your eyes and take a deep breath or have a glass of water and start again.

7. Once you have completed this process, the real key to achieving this goal is to reconnect with it at the start of every day. This tuning in process is important, particularly when it is preceded by a few moments of giving thanks and appreciation for what you do have in your life. Creating goals from a place of fulfilment, rather than poverty, appears to be another critical factor in helping goals come true.


Be open to the fact that as life circumstances change and as you continue to grow and evolve your goals will usually change and evolve also. It’s a good habit to regularly review goals, as it is values, in order to make sure that they still reflect what is true for you. Once a month is about right for most people





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